Al Roker!

File this in the What The Fuck? category. Check out Matt Lauers reaction.

Michael Phelps Mania!!

What the fuck is up with all this Michael Phelps mania? The world cannot get enough of this guy. I’ve heard terms like “a Phelpsian lifestyle” being thrown around. What the fuck is a Phelphsian lifestyle?! Eating fast food and swimming? Sounds like every elementary school kid in America. Speaking of fast food, when they asked Phelps what kind of sponsor he’d like now that he is uber famous, he said, “fast food would be cool.” What the fuck? Someone please educate this half-wit! Fast food is toxic! Childhood obesity, now linked to childrens colon cancer, is one of the greatest health threats to our youth, due to processed foods and fast food marketing. The chlorine has gone to his head. They call him the greatest Olympic athlete ever. What about people that do decathlons? In swimming, one has the chance to win so many golds because there are so many strokes- not the case in other sports. After NBCs sappy over-the-top coverage of him and his mom, the backlash began. I’ve heard him called a “flapping farmhand” and his face and demeanor compared to Simple Jack and Dustin Diamond. Ouch. Don’t get me wrong- I appreciate and admire athleticism. Working on ones body and reaching a goal is (almost) as noble as the arts and intellectual pursuits. But the world’s obsession with the concept of winning and losing seems archaic to me. I’m calling for the End of Sport altogether. Half the world is a war zone, babies are dying, the planet is being raped, and we humans are obsessed over who moves their arms and legs through the water 1/100th of a second faster than the other. It doesn’t fucking matter. Insanity.

Random Internet Quote #2

From a comment board making fun of the film Righteous Kill:

I've never heard the words "badge" and "gun" used more times than in the preview for this movie.

Literally, Pacino's voiceover in the trailer goes something like,

"Where I come from, you make a choice between a badge or a gun. You respect the gun? You hate the badge. You love the badge? You fear the gun. Sometimes a gun looks like a badge. And sometimes, well a gun, it looks like a gun. But there's no mistaking, that a badge is more powerful than the gun. When I wake up in the morning, I find my hand on my badge, when it should be on my gun. I ask myself, What came first? The badge or the gun? The difference between a badge and a gun, is that a badge knows that he's a badge, but a gun- a gun don't know he's a gun. If you got a badge, and gun, all you really gots a gun. And a badge. One fish, two fish, badge, gun, badge, gun. Knock, knock? Who's there? Oh, a badge? I though it would be a gun. Good one."

-a poster named JudgeFudge

Baseck/ Daedelus/ Hecate/ Captain Ahab/ Tleilaxu Music Machine

I am pleased to inform you that the electronic noise/breakcore/experimental scene is alive and well in Los Angeles. I went to a warehouse downtown on Friday and heard some of the best music I've heard all year. Darkmatter Soundsystem threw the party and the turnout was great. I missed The Tleilaxu Music Machine but I'd seen him before and he is rad. Daedelus was performing when I got there. This guy is the shit. He used an instrument called the Monome that is a big square pad with buttons that trigger samples in Max/MSP and allows for heightened improvisation. My friend Peter actually helped develop this instrument and, until last night, I had never seen anyone use it besides him. The music was frantic melodic electro rave that had people going nuts. Go see this dude when he comes to town, he is currently touring the planet. His new record is on Ninja Tune. There were a couple other breakcore acts that were pretty cool but kind of rehashing stuff Kid606 and Drop the Lime were doing 5 years ago. One guy named Tony, I didn't catch his artist name, played an extremely hardcore set with what sounded like 400 bpm beats and screaming death vocals. Great performance. He told me John Frusciante was at the last Darkmatter gig and that he is opening for him at his next solo show here in LA. Wow. Next was a girl named Hecate from Berlin that DJed hardcore electronic and shrieked over it. That is her in the picture above. Diamanda Gales meets Atari Teenage Riot. Pretty damn evil. Judging by her myspace, it seems she has taken her music around the world. I'm told she made an album entirely made up of the sounds of her fucking. Then local hero Captain Ahab played. He has a hype guy who is like the white Flava Flav- he really gets the party started. Thats them below. It seems Ahab is getting away from the wacky electro pop and into more hard techno. Check out this video, it is somewhat of an Ahab classic. Baseck, who put the party together, closed the night. He played a game boy and had a weird tribal looking kid with a cane on vocals and tom drum. I don't know what hes doing with the game boy but the music coming out of it is incredible. It only barely sounds like what you're imaging. Cevin Key from Skinny Puppy was there and I talked with him for a bit and that was cool. The next party is September 13th.

Joe Smooth: Promised Land

I haven't found much to post this month but here is one of the greatest house tracks ever, accompanied by the video. This has been a peak or end of the night party anthem all across the world for 20 years. Read all the comments on the youtube page to see the effect this tune has had on people. It doesn't get much better than this.

The Laughing Light of Plenty

New band alert! The Laughing Light of Plenty is Thomas Bullock and Eddie Ruscha. A lot of readers of this webpage probably know about Thomas from Wicked, Rub n Tug, Map of Africa, etc... He is the best DJ in the world and a phenomenal producer. Eddie Ruscha is the son of the famous artist. He does amazing art and music as Secret Circuit and Dada Munchamonkey. The art above and below is by him. The first Laughing Light song, The Rose, is coming out on Whatever We Want Records, another 12" limited to 700 copies. Compared to Thomas' other music projects of late (Bobbie Marie, MOA, Welcome Stranger) this stuff is more dancefloor friendly and- dare i say- commercial? I think it is among his best work. It also has the best bass line I have heard in long time.

Listen to The Rose here.